Many years ago I read a book that I enjoyed. Back then it was far less apropos than it is now. It went into defining manhood and the many stages of getting there. I am lead to reflect on that book for a few posts and share some of the things I enjoyed. We will also consult the main instruction manual which is God and His word.
All men start life at the same place when exiting the womb but where we end up is all up to each of us.
So what defines manhood? Is it possible to define? Can we all come to an understanding of what it means to be male? Is it possible? Yes, it is. We have many, many years of research into men’s issues to look at and the Scriptures contain a wealth of information and God’s design for us as men. The instruction book is available. We just need to read. The best thing a Christian man can do is read God’s word. I have found that whatever issue major issue we have the answer is in there.
We know that life is not static and the author of the book addressed that as the basis for his writing. By the way, the name of the book is “The Masculine Journey” by Robert Hicks. Mr. Hicks wrote about how as we grow and move through life our journey has a changing landscape. If you are a man in your twenties you will be much different than a man in his forties. If we observe well we can see the difference in each stage and based on the research from the past along with God’s word we can know what is appropriate during each stage we enter. I believe it is important to understand what stage we are in and the appropriate way we are to live and that’s why I am pondering all those things I learned man years ago. The one thing that really stayed with me is the learning that some men get stuck in one stage and never get out or advance to the next stage. You all know what I am talking about. Have you ever seen a 60 year old guy that still acts and thinks like he is 20? (Or how about 16?) When a man gets stuck in one stage of his life and does not mature and move on with some wisdom he becomes unable to deal with the realities of life. These are the guys that become a sad excuse for men. Over the years I have been able to pinpoint what stage men are in that live around me. I have also been able to pinpoint what stage I am in. Because of the many years that have passed since I learned this material I have been able to see myself change from one stage to the next and know where I am in this journey.
So what are the stages we are referring to? There are six. The first stage we enter is the “The Creational Male”. We were all created by God for a purpose and when we were born we each were given unique abilities and characteristics to lead is along the way and help us develop to our greatest potential as men.
Stage two you men can relate with easily. This is where we become or for some reading this became “The Phallic Male”. In a previous post I mentioned how society and our culture here in the U.S. have handled male sexuality. I believe I referred to it as the “sissification” of men. Our culture can deny, denigrate and pervert male sexuality all they want but listen up. We as males remain sexual beings from our most primary level. God designed it that way. Sometimes I think God had an interesting sense of humor. If you read your Bible you will learn that God doesn’t expect us to be any other way. Even though we go through this stage and it is designed by God there is a critical message for you. We are not to fixate on this phallic thing! We are to learn how to channel our sexual energy constructively. That in itself is an interesting subject. I once read about how to do that in the business world with a process called sexual mutation. I cannot get into that now though. So have you ever known a man that got stuck in the “Phallic Stage”? I have known many. I have known enough to draw my own conclusion that leads me to think this is the stage most dangerous for men to get stuck in.
Stage three, if you can move beyond the phallic stage is “The Warrior”. This is where we channel our strength, our fighting spirit, our natural competiveness (that God instills) where needed during our continual development as men. Once again this fighting spirit is not always directed and exercised appropriately.
Now on to stage four which really works some deep inner development and is called “The Wounded Male”. When we pass through the warrior stage getting wounded is all part of the process. There consequences and casualties when in war. It is from this wounding that we learn to understand the needs of others around us. I guess I could call it my school of hard knocks.
Stage five brings me to my fellow men that are not afraid to go against the grain to do what is right. This stage is called “The Mature Male”. A mature man is very purposeful. He possesses a high regard for the dignity of other human beings and the mature man has balance in his life and an understanding of the truth. This man is not afraid to go against the grain to pursue what is right. The mature man’s life is an exciting time of growth that gets more enjoyable as each day passes. If you get stuck, or have gotten stuck in a previous stage and have not reached this stage at the appropriate time in your life then you are stagnate and certainly not handling the realities of life well.
The last stage in our life as a male is “The Sage”. In this last stage we become wise and mature. This is where the real men make the finest contributions to our family, to our church and community. We will as the complete man be in command of our soul with the help of the Lord. We have arrived.
Can you see yourself in any of these stages? Can you identify?
I want to explore this much further and much deeper in future posts. It may develop into several different series. I’ll see how it goes.
I hope I have peaked your interest. Watch for more on the journey.
“The Tubthumper”
